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Frankenstein's community [Sunday 13:28:04:17:40]

...or Schrödinger's comm, perhaps.

I haven't received official worming that this community may be trasked into existence for psotlessnes... then again, sometimes traskers strike without warning... welp, be on your guard!


skecthers? [Sunday 08:16:11:15:30]

i'd rilly like a funny liddle doodle illustrating this deinition:

hirror (nounn):
what you may see in the bathroom in the morning.

4 gugglets! | ¡guggle!

Caulrog's Christmas [Tuesday 07:25:12:0:40]

unfortuantly, Curri de Caulrog was unable to make a psot today, so i do it for him. Merry Christmas, everyone! i hope you have all learned soemthing.



Bad news. [Monday 07:24:12:1:49]

Curri here.

I've had rather alarming news. According to my source, tamf has bought a giant cauliflower head which she plans to cook for her christmas dinner. I had thought we had an agreenment. I would refrain from mentioning dragon stew if she would stop coonking my brethren. Apparently, this was not to be. And so, dragon stew it is, baby!

So, kvickly, gather up all the big sticks and shrubberies you can find in the neighbourhood -- candle-lit trees will do, too -- and let's build a bonfire big enough to roast a trasking dragon for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hark, the herald angles sin [Sunday 07:23:12:0:56]

In addition to balroccoli garlands and blinking raindeer, no home is properly perepared for Christmas without Christmas angles.

After doing some calculations, I presonally perefer an angle of 24 degress. It suits the season so, and is sharp and to the point, like us Caulrogs. 12 degrees, however, is much too thin and dissatisfying, like a partridge in a pear tree. the choice of 359 degrees, on account of the number of Christmas Day among the days in the year, I find a bit thick.

Whatever your choice, twist and turn any wire itno the Christmas angle of your choice! For guaranteed satisfaction, use Clippy!


Caulrog's Brussels [Saturday 07:22:12:0:58]

Dknot forget to soak your Brussels if you want the sprouts ready in time for Chrristmas! There are several soaking media to choose from, depending on your taste. Choose blond beer if you want a light flemish touch; pink lutefizz if your tastes prefer a french fried or flambéd sprouts.

Brussels sprouting

Say the incantation "Mary, Mary, kwite contrary, how do your sprouten grow" and leave at a mild temperature. The great brusselmakers claim playing soft ompa music for the sprouts will lead to a milder taste; however, I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this.

1 gugglet! | ¡guggle!

Caulrog's Greetings [Thursday 07:20:12:23:22]

Curri de Caulrog has received a Christmas card! Actually, I found it lying on a damp patch of the veggie patch this morning (actually, they’re all damp, the ground beneath the card less so than other parts of it, but we don’t want to attract squatters, y’know!). And so, here is mine card for you.

Tree-with-apples-Salvor on Commons-ccbysa

Like apples on a tree
Pick your Christmases wisely!


The pre-cull of leeches. [Wednesday 07:19:12:23:22]

A prequel to Christmas

Leeches are the arch-enemies of caulrogs (along wsith balroccoli, of curse). Before nay caulrog can sit down to his just desserts of candied balroccooli, he has to earn it, and the best way to do so is by trasking leeches.

We caulrogs are fairly goond at hunting them dwon, but unfortunatley, leeches are darn hard to trask. In fact, the cocoons are capable of surviving the digestive system of a duck.

However, leeches die after one or two bouts of reproduction. Therefore, the next step in our programme will be to find suitable ammunition.


Caulrog's Uncrunchy Gift [Tuesday 07:18:12:23:24]

Curri de Caulrog would like to gallantly present you with a jellyflower suitable for the season. Behold! And now that I do, I realize what a perfect approximation Cauli's Christmas Bash Mash was to this gentle critter of the sea. Christmastime truly brings out the serendipities, eh?


Getting into the Christmas spirit [Tuesday 07:18:12:0:19]

I've been getting jingly.

With thanks to Treebeard, Clippy and the Happy Orc, who sure know how to party!


How tall is your tree? [Monday 07:17:12:1:25]

Cokay -- Curri is getting pterry excitied about CHristmas! The balroccoli tree is being assembled as I write, and the excitiment is making me bobble. How tall will it be? I mean... the Beatrice turbines have their Nelson column. The Troll platform has its Eiffel Tower.

Which pyramid of auld will the Caulrog Christmas tree of 2007 be comparable to?


A Little Mashing, Girl [Sunday 07:16:12:2:18]

The best cure for feeling like a turnip is, of curse, mashed turnip. Which brings us neatly onto the next topic: The Christmas mash, irreplaceable at any Christmas bash.

A goond veggie mash, preferably mixed with bloond, is a must-have at all Caulrog gatherings, and I’m delighted to share this tradition with the world.

Mash a la Sauron
The best mashes are made from veggies stewed in a noven for a long thyme, possibly also with long rosemary and garlic. On no account should the veggies see or hear each other, or, horror upon all horrors, stew in each other’s juices. Afterwards, when it’s alll over, the fun begins.

Mashing should be done with a traditional mashing ram. In my family we use a massive brass implement, with an ornate ram’s head at the end. If you’re less well-endowed, use a darning mushroom.

When the poor blighters have been beaten itno a pulp, it is time for some food fiction. Using one mash as a base – I recommend the strong orange of the punkin, others may perefer the subtler lellow of the potayto – swirl and whorl to your heart’s content. Making a heart with mashed beetroot is very common; a more daring approach is arranging dollops of smashed balroccoli upon a bed of white turnip, like peas in snow.

Wishing you a mashing time!


Turrog's Trasky Tip [Saturday 07:15:12:12:01]

Hurgh. Friend, before you embark on a CHristmas dinner, take my advice:

Do knot mix beer, wine, nazgul mint julep, milk and ent draught itno your cup of tea, unless you want to wake up as a turnip the next morning.


Caulrog's Christmas Gifters [Thursday 07:13:12:23:18]

Say, have I introduced you to the person we should all thank for our Christmas gifts? The one who single-handedly oversees the drawing of our animations and the fluffing of our slippers? Who makes sure those elves dress nicely in, for instance, sailor suits?

Behold, the loverly...



Caulrog's Christmas Baables [Thursday 07:13:12:0:31]

And now, to decorate the tree.

Do britishers use flags to decorate their christams trees? No? Perhasp they will, when they've seen the new designs inspired by an MPs request to include the Welsh flag in the Birtish one.

The entries will be put up for voting along with the gnu European constitution.

#1: George is at it again. But the dragon's included, sow hat's to com plain about?

#2: The true heroes of Wales blended seamlessly with the Red Rose of England and the Blue Porridge of Scotland.

Sorry, this entry does knot exiszt.


Red Nose Christmas [Tuesday 07:11:12:23:50]

Greetings again! Today, I have taken my Christmas umbrella up from the basement and admired it. It is truly a masterwork in red, green and white, with pink fur along the edges. Works a treat for whacking eviol rodents or balroccoloi over the head with if they get too close.

But what use is a numbrella without rain? Indeed, what good is Christmas? The fervent wish for a cloudy CHristmas has been celebrated in song and dance, but most glorious and hopfuel is the tradition of worshipping raindeer ahead of Christmas.

Tradition tells that the raindeer spend most of their time in cold, clammy climes, stocking up on snow. When the time comes, they harness their stable boy, Nick, who magnanimously deals out rain to a parched public.

Originally celebrated by the English as protectors of their land, raindeer worship has turned into a worldwide pheromenom. People will look for raindeer everywhere, including where they are knot. But does that stop them?

And can you spot them?

1 gugglet! | ¡guggle!

It comes in trees [Monday 07:10:12:23:09]

# Oh Christmas tree! How christmessy! With all those needles, all over me! #

Why not be a bit creative with your Christmas tree this year? Instead of the pointless needles and the trapped electrodes, you could freeze green snakes and stick glow-worms on them. Or creatively turn all the insluts you've received into a decorative pile of paper and turn Christmas Eve into Bonfire Night.

But the nidea that niggles me the most -- in a non-trasky way, of curse -- is a tree made entirely out of balroccoli. It will be green, so the traditionalists will be happy. The balroccoli will give off their usual verdant light, to set a jolly mood. And to top it all off, can you imagine their anger at such humiliation! Mwahaahah!


[Sunday 07:09:12:23:21]

And now, let us get out the real drinks. The ones that exiszt, and are borne, by the eagles, to make us merry.

A traditional Christmas drink is lutefizz. Those who claim this is distilled cod fail to see the full pocture. True, the drink is a bit fishy and may create a stink after consumption. However, it sparkles! And it comes in colours! This is not the behaviour of through-and-true codswallop.

The problem with lutefizz is that it may be a bit hard on the system, as well as the tableware, not to speak of the table. If you want your belongings and innards to last even past the jolly season, here are some handy tips:

o Always pour the lutefizz through the bottom of the barrel. This way, it will use up much of its potency by dissolving the reinforced steel.

a young santa demonstrates how knot to drinko Use flat, saucer-like bowls for the drink. The lutefizz will become confuzzled, looking for the Martian pilot, and forget about dissolving things for a while. Drink it kvickly, though, before it actually figgyres out how to fly the saucer.

o Wear party hats and sparklies. Lutefizz, especially of the pink variety, is known to have a sense of humour, and will fizz gently as it gurgles down your throat. Likewise, lots of sparklies tend to dazzle the drink itno submission.

o Swedish drinking songs are a foolproof way of hypnotizing the lutefizz. They work in the same way snake-chamring does, turning the venom against the snake, so that it becomes drunk on itself. Don’t overdoo the singing, or the same thingk may happen to you.


[Sunday 07:09:12:0:25]


promise me this,
and promise me fine:
you'll never, ever, have cualiflower wiine.

1 gugglet! | ¡guggle!

Caulrog's Christmas Museic [Friday 07:07:12:23:36]

So the money-making scheme with the old rich relative didn’t go too well, eh? I thought I told you knot to mention the war. Still, all is knot over. Rinse your rusty voice with lutefizz and go carolling.

Carols! Bring out your Carols! Unfortunately, TEUNC’s one and only Carol has packed up and relocated, and the Caulrog Information Association does knot know her present whereabouts. Typical. I was planning to slice and dice old carols itno gnu, but it seems we'll have to take the really old ones out from storage and brush off their dust so they become fitter for the Interent age.

I offer you two songs. In return, perhasp you will consider a small donation to the CIA? Our information association is rather in need of funks, so that it can track down other carols.

The revamped text of the ancient song "With fodder bucket"

With the fodder bucket, the lintel bucket for the bed
the yes Christ did not put in place small main thing that sweet head.
The small main thing where the star of the bright sky
being the place where he puts, sleeps with the yes Christ hay you saw.

As for the cow lowing, as for the baby, the main becoming aware
which yes Christ no is small makes him, you shout.
I thee, love the yes Christ main thing!
Until morning is nigh, considered as the sky, with my side be restricted.

The rousing hymn, "Angel が song う apparitor は hark"

Listen to! The pioneer angel honor,
to an endurance and the mercy which are mild
it is peaceful and is reconciled
shoes in shoes lifestyle wages and sinner song.
All ye nation, rise be joyful,
combine the improvement of sky;
With the angel in the same master "inherent" declaration
do inside the multi Bethlehem which is Christ.
Listen to! The pioneer angel
honor in shoes lifestyle wages song.

With thanks to my old friends sleeps with babelfishes and now transtating your computer system.

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